(CNN)-- I blame Wacky Packages for making me the man I am today. At 9 years old, I became hooked on the Topps-brand sticker series of product parodies, which recast Cap'n Crunch as "Cap'n Crud ...

Wacky Packages were TOPPS collectible cards (actually, stickers—much to the chagrin of our parents) that parodied common ...

Somewhere, in a junior high school locker, sits a faded sticker: “Weakies, the Breakfast of Chumps.” Time to scrape it off, and make room for a new generation of pop culture spoofs. “Wacky ...